The Jests of Hierocles and Philagrius
Was flipping through the world's oldest joke book this week. "The Jests of Hierocles and Philagrius" are 264 jokes stuck at the end of a ninth-century manuscript of commentaries on Pythagoras' Golden Verses. (The commentaries had been written by Hierocles of Alexandria in the 400s. The anonymous joke collection was spuriously attributed to him because it ended up in the same bundle of pages.)
https://archive.org/stream/jestshieroclesa00ohiogoog#page/n6/mode/2up
It turns out a lot of jokes from 1500+ years ago don't make much sense. "A pedant ordered a silversmith to make a lamp, and when the latter enquired how large he should make it, he replied, 'Large enough for eight men.'" I like headscratchers.
Some would go perfectly into a Groucho routine. "A man said to a cook of Sidonia, 'Lend me a knife as far as Smyrna.' The cook replied, 'I haven't a knife that will reach that far.'"
This one may be a bit outré today - you could retell it as a roommate fight, but the punchline's a little shocking for "Friends". "Two men of Cumae bought two dishes of dried figs. Each of the men secretly ate up the figs from the other's dish and not from his own. When they had finished their business, each one turning to his own property found it empty. Taking hold of one another they went to the judge and the judge hearing the case ordered them to exchange excrements."
I don't think people in classical antiquity were as squicked out by bodily functions as we are in this age of universal toilet-paper-availability.
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